


Quirks

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Age Play, Anxiety, Arguments, Diapers, Embarrassment, Falling In Love, Feeding, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, Infantilism, Multi, Open Marriage, Romance, Threesome - F/M/M, Trying Out Kinks, Understanding partners, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 20:31:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11387847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: Holly tries something new.  Turns out Jack's an old pro at it.  Dan's just plain curious.Together the three of them bumble into an arrangement that soon turns into something entirely different altogether.





	Quirks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheseusInTheMaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/gifts).



> A request from Theseus, who's written a ton of things at my behest - so I'm returning the favor! This is super far out of my kink experience, so double kudos to them and Angel_Ascending for holding my hand throughout the writing process.

Holly was worrying the cuff of his sweater between her teeth, taking in the array of options before her with a confused, wide-eyed stare.

Why were there so many options, and why couldn’t she make a simple decision with as much dignity as she humanly could?

It was hard to explain how she’d figured this much about herself. Maybe crawling around on the ground caused the ever-present tension pressing down on the back of her neck to dissipate. Maybe because the jangle of keys and the taste of butterscotch pudding on a plastic spoon made her feel completely quiet and comfortable. All of this had led her to this place. 

So here she was. Staring at an array of diapers trying to figure out the best fit.

God, she didn’t want to have to explain this to Ross, and definitely didn’t want anyone to recognize her in this place. She grabbed a cute, owl-spackled package and headed off to the cash register with it tucked under her elbow, eyes cast toward her feet and feet constantly on the move.

Cashed out and in the parking lot, she heard a happy voice shouting her name. An Irish accented voice that was oh too familiar.

“Hey Holly! You’re sagging out a bit there!”

She yelped and spun in the direction of the voice, total embarrassment turning her cheeks pink. It was Sean – Irish Sean, Jack-Sean – who was in town filming some crossovers with Mark. She and Ross had just had dinner with him. A dinner that had been followed by an awkward and yet awesome conversation in which Ross vowed to be the best wingman in the world for his wife. “Weird, gross new fetish or not,” he’d said, and she’d poked him. After all, Holly had been good to him, let him lick her feet and tie her up every once in awhile – his generosity in return to explore her own need to decompress was impressive and commendable. 

And those thoughts were helping her freak-out stay at a minimum as Sean helped her stuff her groceries into her trunk, then slam it shut. “Hey, could you let me hitch a ride? I’ve got a meeting to get to with Ross.”

Of course he did. “Sure,” she said, heaving the last bag - the one with her diapers in it – into the front seat of the car. 

She didn’t notice that Jack had sat upon them by mistake until she was buckled in.

His expression was one of mild confusion, but as they rode along they chatted about work, the convention that was happening that weekend, and their plans for dinner. A nice, easy chat, social and friendly. 

God, she hoped her voice sounded normal and she wasn’t squeaking like a mouse inhaling helium. She didn’t want to have tells; didn’t want to be obvious, some kind of…well, someone trying to try out her kinks in the privacy of her own home.

She hoped. 

When they pulled into the driveway Jack was helpful. He didn’t notice the barely-dented pile of dips until he helped her bring the last sack of groceries inside.

“For your grandfather, huh?” he asked sympathetically, and she barely managed to hold back a cringe.

“Yep, for him,” she said, and slammed the door shut.

*** 

A few hours later – when she was sure that Jack and Ross were thoroughly busy – Holly snuck out to the kitchen, retrieved the diapers and then slipped into the bathroom, where she tried one on.

The sensation was strange – crinkly, warm, soft. A sense of security. A sense of freedom, too – from memories, responsibility, of even maturity. It was nice. Nice to be released from the rules.

The sense of comfort she’d developed was shattered when someone tried jimmying the lock of the bedroom door open. She panicked.

“Occupied!”

“Are you pissing? I’ve got to um…go!” It was Jack. Precisely the man she didn’t want to see! Her cheeks turned bright red as she tugged her skirt back on, unlatching the door, through which Jack immediately flew.

He was in the process of hauling his pants down when she tried to get out of his way and out the door. Unfortunately, her skirt hooked itself onto the doorknob. Hooked and pulled off, leaving her standing there in the dips.

Jack sat down on the seat and eyeballed Holly, his demand for privacy dying on his lips. Stared up in utter confusion at her choice of wardrobe. 

“Either you’re headed to a costume party,” he observed, “or I’m about to learn something very interesting about your bladder.”

She flushed. “Oh Jack, it’s neither.”

He squinted at her and she sighed. “I’m trying out something um…private. And I guess a little kinky.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “A kinky thing as in a sex thing involving diapers?”

“And age regression. But only trying, just to see how it works and if I like it at all.” The words rushed out, embarrassed, tumbling over and over one another like clothing in a dryer.

“Huh.” He frowned. “What does all of this stuff involve?”

“Mostly, pretending I’m a little kid. Sometimes peeing myself.” She said, staring at her own feet “It’s a long story, explaining the whole sex part of the thing.”

“You don’t have to be ashamed, Hol.”

That was at least nice to hear. “Don’t you think I’m gross?”

“I know a man who loved to dip his balls in shit. On the gross scale, this is barely a one.”

She hugged him. “Thank you.”

He shrugged. “’Tisn’t a bit of trouble. Maybe someday I’ll join you.”

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t remark on this generous statement, even as his cheeks turned bright red.

 

****

Holly didn’t quite know how she felt, as she lay there in bed beside a sleeping Ross – normal underwear on, diapers off and headphones on. Instead she kept mulling over Jack’s offer, considering it, measuring it with her mind. 

Was it really worth trying? Would he even welcome her advances? Could she see herself being this free and open with him - doing some kind of sex stuff with Jack? Even worse – WEIRD sex stuff with Jack when they hadn’t even gone out on a date together yet? She did have Ross’ blanket permission to do whatever she wanted to do but involving someone they both liked and were intimate friends with into the equation could go so wrong, so quickly.

She’d been lost in her own head, brooding away, when she walked into the kitchen and found Jack sitting at the kitchen table.

Drinking chocolate milk out of a baby bottle.

For a minute Holly thought she was just having a very bizarre dream. She presumed she’d wake up and then find herself in a world that made sense in some actual, orderly manner. But instead she just saw a red-cheeked Jack sitting at her kitchen table.

“So that’s why you were so nice about my thing,” she said.

“One of the reasons,” he said, regaining his normal chipperness. “Can’t I be nice for more than one reason?”

“Yes,” she said, grinning. “But this is a much more interesting reason than the normal.”

He made a face and she grinned right back at him, her teeth shining, as if she’d just heard a particularly good joke. “So. I suppose I’ll have to mind-wipe you so you won’t tell anybody else about this.” He waved a hand in front of her face. “You’re getting so sleep. SOOO SLEEPY…”

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” she laughed.

“Really?”

‘Yes!” she shook her head vehemently. “Jack?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Were you really serious about trying this with me?”

“Absolutely,” he said.

Her eyes brightened. “Maybe tomorrow we can just sit around, watch a movie together, and have some cake or something?”

“Sounds fine to me.” There was a new light in his eyes when he said it – a touch of confidence that made her grin. She couldn’t help but adore Jack for everything he was, everything he chose to be even when agreeing to do a kind of gross scene with her.

She smiled, and reached out for his hand, squeezing gently. 

 

*** 

“Do you want to explain the way this is supposed to work?” Jack looked nervous. She wondered how he’d even started on the road if he didn’t know how it was supposed to work. Boys…

“Well…just think of it as roleplay,” Holly said. “I pretend to be one thing and you pretend to be another and then I get super into you pampering me.”

“Lit’rally!” Jack’s accent was musical and she laughed into her fist.

“Do I look ridiculous?”

Holly wasn’t comfortable enough to be in headspace at the moment. She was barely comfortable enough to stand there in front of Jack in her underwear; never mind in custom-made diapers while wearing a bright blue and too-short-for-her teeshirt emblazoned with a bluebird.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart.” He was making that little simpering noise he knew she loved. She stuck out her hip, the purple-and-blue-dinosaur-spattered diaper sticking jauntily out as she posed for him. He’d picked a dinosaur onesie out for himself and the purple-blue spikes on its back stuck up like a mohawk atop his green head. “What about me? Do I look babyish enough?”

“You don’t need to look babyish,” Holly said. “You just need to get comfortable with your true self. That can be anything from relaxing and letting your hair down or…just enjoying the cake I made for us.” She’d sat it on the floor. On the TV there were re-runs of the Rugrats pumping tinnily out into the atmosphere.

It suddenly occurred to her what he was trying to do as she got on her knees next to him and he dug into the chocolatey mess of the cake with a plastic spoon. She wrinkled her nose. “Are you trying to put me under?”

“Is it working?”

She got on the floor and put her head on his shoulder. “Maybe.”

He grinned, putting the cake down, gesturing for her to come closer with his arms wide open. “You’re simply smashing. Now crawl to me and we’ll play with these blocks!”

*** 

And that’s what they did. They built castles with wooden blocks. They messily ate cake. They sucked up the Juicy Juice she’d bought through sippy cups. They mindlessly zoned out and watched Nicktoons as the hours passed by. He kissed her blushingly on the cheek and she kissed him back on the lips. Somehow his hand slid beneath her diaper and hers slid beneath his, and they forgot anything about pretending to be younger, just bringing each other off with a couple of clumsy, rough touches, a few breathless moans and an embarrassed withdrawal of sticky, guilty hands. 

They showered together once the scene was over, just to get all of the chocolate off, and giddily discussed their future plans. 

“I’m going to miss you,” she said, when he packed up to leave. She didn’t need to explain that she was going to miss him in a new, inexplicable way – that indeed their whole worlds had been shape-shifted by the way their new connection had changed things. It was a new, giggly secret they shared. 

One that quietly befuddled Ross, but made her so clearly happy that he wasn’t about to complain about her closeness with Jack. 

If something was missing – and when she thought about it, really thought about it, something honestly did feel like it was – they didn’t mention it to each other. And Holly, drifting on a cloud of affection and understanding, was willing to tune it all out.

****

She’d meant to go to Grump Space in plain, ordinary clothing, but for some reason she felt as if she needed to wear a dip, just in case she got stuck on a long session with Ross or Suzy needed her for something. Jack kept texting her throughout the day, keeping things interesting with pictures and stories. He was handling it well, and she…she honestly missed him. Ross had noticed. He’d even mucked out the bird’s enclosure for her. She’d been texting him leaning over the dining space’s tables, so absorbed in her own misery that she didn’t know Dan was behind her until he playfully gave her a single, rubber-handed spank on the bottom.

And came in contact with something far spongier, far more laden with cloth and bundling, than he’d expected to touch.

She glanced over her shoulder, blushing bright red, and he stood there, stock still, staring at his own palm in utter confusion. 

“It’s a long story,” she said.

Dan backed away from her, hands out, proving that he wasn’t trying to be harmful or embarrass her. “And a personal one. I’m so sorry….and really glad I wasn’t taking a video of that.”

“Dan….” She flushed. He kept staring at her knees. Great, he was going to make the situation awkward, of course he was.

“Let’s not talk about it. Talking about it would like, make everything stranger and this is all my fault you’re not strange I’m an idiot ha ha let’s not talk about this ever again okay?”

Holly stood still in the middle of the room, watching Dan run away, wondering why the hell he was in such a hurry to get away from her. She was the wronged, embarrassed party here – this was his fault, damn it!

 

***

The anger carried over into her playtime. Holly found herself chewing angrily at the nipple Ross had plunged into her mouth because she was just that stressed the hell out. Chewed and chewed until she tasted something that wasn’t even close to the chocolate Carnation milk he’d poured into the bottle but pure rubber.

Holly spat the nipple into her hand and it came out desiccated, a rubber-tendriled, Cthulhuian mess. “Ew,” she muttered.

Ross peered over the top of his tablet at her. “Those shouldn’t be that easy to take apart,” he said. “Are you that upset?”

“No.”

“Not even a little bit stressed? Not an eensy beensy bit?” 

She pouted up at him. “Mayyybe a little bit.”

“Okay, what’s wrong? Do you want to tell daddy?” It was weird for him to actually say those words out loud, and she could tell he wasn’t into it, just playing along for her sake – but Ross was a good husband, and he loved her to bits, and her happiness was paramount to his satisfaction. Vice-versa for her. Of course. Like the accommodating, wonderful man he was, Ross had tried a million things with her throughout the lifetime span of their marriage; some had worked, some had flopped, and some were just plain incompatible with what natively turned the other person on. She gave Ross enough space to work out what she didn’t like with other consenting adults and here he was, doing the same thing for her. God, no wonder she’d married him. Her thoughts were echoed and doubled as he actually got on his knees and wrapped his arms around her, rocking her back and forth, an activity she’d find embarrassing under any other set of circumstances. 

The words rushed out of her in a torrent, which was unusual – when she was in headspace she was usually all action instead of all words. “Dan found out I was wearing dips today and I’m honestly kind of afraid to find out what kind of fallout is going to be like.”

“Oh,” Ross said. He shrugged. “I’ll just have Brian write him another fanfic. That always seems to shut him up.”

Holly burrowed into his arms, a laugh bubbling out of her. “He doesn’t have any space to judge me…”

“Yeah, he sprained his neck while trying to suck his own dick, I remember.”

She laughed, remembering too. “I’ll try not to worry,” she said.

“Don’t. If he says anything I’ll give him a bloody chunder.” Ross’ accent peeped out abruptly, which happened only when he was quite serious about his feelings.

She glanced up at him. “…That sounds painful and very Australian.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Oh Holly. It is.”

 

*** 

Holly avoided the office for a long time after that. She was in a state of adjustment, and she didn’t want to risk bumping into Dan and biting his head off. When she did encounter him it was undipped, while taping the podcast with Ross and talking about pigeons. They’d been sitting together editing the broadcast when she heard her name being shouted from across Matt’s office.

It was Dan, and he was noodle-flailing his way toward her, nearly tripping over his own feet trying to get to her. Ross stared at him with a single eyebrow raised, and Holly buried her face in her hands as he barely stopped himself from tumbling over the laptop setup. 

“Hi,” he panted. “Holly, can I talk to you in private?”

She locked eyes with Ross – who from the look in his eyes didn’t really want to be involved in whatever argument might bubble up between them. So Holly nodded. “We can talk out in the lounge.”

Dan actually pulled her chair out when she went to stand up, tailing her like a lost puppy. Holly felt half-lost in the recently renovated office, and it took her twenty minutes to find her way to the front of the place. Dan shoved himself onto a sumo beanbag and she sat stiffly in her chair. 

The second they were alone, language poured forth from Dan’s mouth, bursting in an unbidden gout from his tongue. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I didn’t think you were like, wearing something special, and I definitely didn’t mean to totally like, hurt you or anything like that…”

Holly shook her head. Dan was, of course, doing his Dan thing now that they were confronting this problem – totally panicking, his mouth moving at forty miles an hour. “You didn’t hurt me at all, I was just…really surprised.”

He winced. “I should’ve just kept my hands to myself, it was a dick move to like, feel up your pull-ups without permission.”

“It’s called a dip, Dan, in the culture – don’t call it a diaper, that makes me feel like a grandmother.”

The mortification on his face would’ve been hilarious, were this not her life and were they not sitting twelve feet from her husband’s office. “Wait, that’s a kink thing?” He promptly grew even redder, and Holly groaned.

“Yeah. My bladder isn’t that weak,” she said. “You’ve heard of people who live lifestyle sub lives, right?”

He nodded. “I know a few friends who went that way. Never appealed to me. Why?”

“Well…this is kind of like that. Only not. And I’m just trying it out, so don’t tell another soul.”

“I swear on my grandmother’s life, I won’t,” said Dan. And, after a moment of thought, ended up asking her, “what’s it like?”

“What? Abdl?” she asked, and even though he likely didn’t understand her acronym, he nodded. She shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t have a daddy or a mommy yet. I’m just scening with a friend.” She was amazed that he wasn’t trying to shame her for this, but then again he’d all but admitted to being the stubbiest sub in subville. Not to mention the autofellatio thing…

“Oh…” Dan nodded, scraped back his curly hair, and had another moment of thought. “Do I know this friend?”

“Dan…”

“I didn’t think you’d tell me,” he said. “I was just curious.”

He rested his head against the glass pane, his eyes closed tightly. After a heartbeat passed, he finally said, “Do you uh…need someone to play with?”

A long pause. Only Dan. Only he would ask her to scene with him out of the blue, when he’d shown absolutely no sexual interest in anything about her entire existence before this day. “Maybe,” she said. It was as noncommittal as you could get. Then again she felt rather ambivalent about her choices at the moment. “But I really don’t think this is your thing, unless you like getting peed on…” Dan laughed nervously and crossed his legs. “Oh, Dan.” But she kept holding on to his hand.

“Holly,” she said gently. “I really want to…I don’t know…I want to make this up to you, and I want to make you feel better and I guess I just don’t want to look like a total jackass in your eyes.”

“Dan,” she took his big hand in between his small ones, “it’s all right. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“But I kind of want to?” he confessed, almost shyly.

Was he being serious? And why was she seriously considering saying yes? Was she that hard up?

But his eyes kept warmly pleading with her, and his smile was tender and engaging, and she couldn’t stop her heart from turning over in her chest.

“Okay,” she finally said. “If you want to scene with me, we can start tonight.”

“Yay – wait, tonight?” he asked.

“I don’t have a lot of time to spare! You know it’s con season, and some of us make good money selling stuff at those.” She squeezed his hand and then let go. “I need a little stress relief every now and again,” she explained.

Dan shrugged, nodded. “I’ve got another episode to do with Arin, but then I’ll be ready.”

Her heart beat a step faster when he said that. This was going to happen. Really going to happen.

And she was both excited and thrilled out of her mind that it was going to occur. 

*** 

“So how do I do this?” 

Dan was sitting there in his teeshirt and jeans, and Holly was wearing an owl kigu. She’d dragged the blocks and play piano out, and he was nervously shuffling between channels on the DVR, trying to find something that suited the mood. He landed on a rerun of Barney on PBS and cringed.

“Well, you don’t do anything. You just react to what I want and what I ask for,” she said, sitting down carefully at his feet. Loosely she considered buying some watercolor paints to boost the next scene along, but said nothing to Dan as he struggled to sit up on her overstuffed armchair. 

“Okay.” Holly turned her back to him and settled into playing, her mind a perfect, wholly clean slate. 

“Sweetheart?” he asked suddenly. “Do you want some juice?”

“Yes,” she answered, in a voice a little higher than her usual one.

By the time he came back she was sending her stuffed owl on a journey through the air, stillness and calmness filling her mind like cool water. After a long time he came back with juice in a sippy cup and a couple of lemon cooler cookies. He offered her one and she ate it messily, then reached for the cup and gulped it down.

After a minute, she put it down with a burp.

“Excuse you,” he said.

“Excuse me,” she sing-songed back happily, and then cuddled the stuffed animal close to her chest. Then an idea popped into her mind. “Can daddy…” she began.

“Abba,” he said suddenly. She raised an eyebrow but he continued, “I’m abba, that’s what dad means in Hebrew.”

“Can abba tell me a story?” she said, rolling her eyes. This was a new emotion filling her mind and flooding her fingertips, making her feel awfully devilish. 

“Only if baby sits in my lap,” he said.

Dan opened his arms and she crawled into them. By the time he muted the tv she felt something warm and solid press firmly into the only part of her thigh not cushioned by the diaper’s ruffles or the extreme thickness of the kigu. 

The idea was exciting and intriguing but she wasn’t about to explore it yet. Instead she leaned into Dan’s chest and sucked on her thumb as Dan told her an old story he remembered, about dragons and the maidens who needed them, loved them, even as they resented them. And all the while Holly listened, and drifted in and out of consciousness, feeling safer than she ever had in her entire life.

*** 

“Did I do all right?” he asked, as they cleaned up the living room floor. She had been busily getting the vacuum out when he spoke up and startled her. They hadn’t done anything particularly sexual with one another this first time; after the stories, cookies and juice there had been ice cream and strained vegetables, and they’d watched the Lion King together, spooned up on the floor, Holly sucking on a pacifier until her critical mind spoke up and broke the spell. Apparently she knew too much about birds and she started to complain about the crows winging their way around the screen until Dan sighed and turned the television off.

“You did fine, Dan.” She could see the anxiety in his face even as she reassured him, but didn’t add further words of encouragement. It was Dan she was talking to here – sweet, tender, malleable, but always honest. “I promise, you made me happy.”

He grinned at her. “Someday I’m going to make you _really_ happy.” His leer was ridiculous, playful and completely ridiculous.

Dan in a nutshell.

“Maybe I’ll say yes, if you ask me to,” she said. 

He planted her Rowlet plushy on the couch. “Want some pizza or are you still all filled up from the baby food?”

She smiled. “Pizza sounds good,” she said.

Holly let him order while she slipped into the bathroom and traded the kigu for sweats and her diapers for a boring pair of ordinary panties.

***

“You let DAN daddy you?” Jack looked almost jealous as he rolled the words around in his mouth, trying to envision it. Holly carefully leveled the iPad off in the palm of her hand, waiting for some sort of response from him.

“Are you jealous, Jack?”

“ENVIOUS!” Jack said. “He’s so caring and he’s got enormous hands. My girl couldn’t mommy me nearly as well. How did you score him?”

“It’s Dan,” she grinned. “It’s easy enough to get him to do something you want. All you have to do is make it sound a little sexy and then he’s eating out of your palm.”

“How absolutely fascinating.” She could hear Jack whirring a fidget spinner with his free hand, his expression carrying a note of sadness and a note of amusement.

“You’re such a pain in the butt,” she said, grinning. 

“Play your cards right and I’ll be the biggest pain your butt’s ever experienced!” He grinned.

She shook her head. Sex with Jack – in play or out of it. What would that feel like?

Too energetic to be believed, she decided, and hung up the call with a laugh.

 

*** 

Time had a way of flying by when you were having fun – and Holly, between her peaceful in-play afternoons with Dan and her busy actual-career and marriage, was having fun. When she and Ross flew to Ireland for their anniversary she and Jack hooked up for a single afternoon, dripping ice cream all over each other, switching off, playing mommy and daddy, changing diapers and turning somersaults on an oversized play mat. Holly was rapidly learning something about herself – she liked much more playing the bratty child than playing Jack’s doting mommy, as much as she liked being around him – in headspace or not.

On the long flight back home Jack sent her pictures of fingerpainted, smiling suns, with a legend beneath it saying that she was his sunshine.

It was hard not to feel buoyed by such sweetness. Ross noticed and asked if he should put on some plastic waders and call her mommy.

“You don’t have to be a jealous baby, Rossy,” he said, and he groaned like a gutshot man.

They spent the whole afternoon at the movies, hand in hand –she didn’t look at her phone even once. As much as she loved Jack - and she was definitely coming to love Jack, when he was yelling about boners or when he was feeding her applesauce from a plastic infant’s spoon – well, as much as loved doing this thing with Jack – no one would ever love or understand her as much as Ross. 

 

*** 

Understanding was exactly what Ross was, which was why he attended a munch with her, then drove her to her first after-munch party. Sitting next to him in a pale pink sundress, a handmade apple pie tucked in her hand, Holly just plain felt awkward, but she was girded and ready to face any criticism that might come her way.

He kissed her forehead and gently nudged her out the car door. “Be back by eleven.”

“Thanks, dad,” she rolled her eyes, and then blushed at the implication of her statement. Ross just gave her his best cocky grin and watched as she disappeared down the driveway.

Whoever was holding the afterparty for the munch – and Holly didn’t really know these people well but had networked with them through friends of friends on a fetish website – was richer than a twenty foot chocolate cake. As she stared at the McMansion’s elegant rocky surface, she felt completely inadequate, as if she had been thrown headfirst into a boiling pot of tar. Why hadn’t she been satisfied with Dan’s cuddling and his pampering? Did she need the caretaking to be sexual? Or was the calm, deep oblivion that littlespace gave her mind worth it? Holly didn’t even know why she was standing there – maybe she needed a reminder that she wasn’t alone, that other people kinked this way too, that people liked her as much as she liked pretending to be young and carefree.

As she tapped the front bell the door creaked open and killed any further mental discourse; a man in a baby bonnet and a bright blue diaper answered the door. He took one look at her, smacked himself in the face with a large yellow plastic rattle and yelled “MOMMY” over his shoulder. As he toddled away, a svelte blonde in a tight green dress entered the foyer and welcomed her warmly, planting a cup of wine in her hand and taking the pie.

“Were littles supposed to come here dipped?” She couldn’t remember, but the e-vite was very much a casual, come-as-you are kind of thing from what she remembered.

“Oh no,” she said, “That’s Joseph. He likes to be…festive…when we throw munches.”

“Oh,” Holly said. She drifted into the party and kept her eyes and ears open for anyone who might be interested in talking. Two hours later memories of isolation and festering loneliness from high school reared their ugly heads. Everyone here clearly knew someone, the music was terrible and sounded like Joanna Newsome giving birth to an elephant through her navel; Holly knew absolutely nobody, so she sated herself by gorging on whatever food she could get her hands on, little bits of cake, tiny pies, ice cream flavored like peanut butter and jelly. As she nibbled a cup filled with butterscotch pudding she marveled at her host’s ability to stick to the theme. She wondered if Ross was having a good time with his top, and then she wondered if calling him this early would be some sort of unforgivable sin when he was getting his chest stepped on or his butt beaten. 

And then, out of the blue, she heard the words she’d been most afraid to actually hear spoken. 

“Oh my God! You’re Commander Holly!”

An enormous fake smile spread across her face, and she wondered why she’d bothered to dye her hair jet black for the occasion. _A face mask next time,_ she decided for herself. “I sure am!”

A man in a mustard-colored suit with a blue checkered tie immediately grabbed her hands and said quite fervently. “Is there somewhere we can talk in private?”

“I….have no idea this is my first time here.” His sticky hands and flame-colored toupee, sitting curled and askew atop his head gave her absolutely no illusion that she was somehow within safe bounds. 

“We can sit on Madame’s love seat,” he said quickly, almost nakedly pleading with her. “It’s outside the folding doors leading to the verandah, right next to the solar.”

Holly couldn’t remember ever staying at a house fancy enough to have a solar, let alone a verandah. She followed him out of the main party area out toward where the couch apparently was.

When she saw it she almost laughed out loud. The loveseat was shaped like a kawaii cloud with enormous, soulless black eyes. Because of course it was. 

She settled down and not two seconds later the man beside her said, “I understand you might not want to be public with our little…kink…”

She desperately didn’t at this point, but she kept her thin-pressed smile in place. 

“But,” he continued on, “it’s important that we stand up for our rights and be unafraid of who we are!” Her eyes bulged out as he grabbed at her hand and continued, “We need you on our side, Ms Conrad, out there fighting for adbl kind…”

“…I….” Holly sputtered.

His grip intensified, “Pointing out that our rights are important and that we’re just as valid as anyone else in the world!” 

“I’m not sure we’re particularly Invalid!” she nervously laughed. “I mean, we all have value, we put our dips one leg at a time…”

“But Abduls are always looked down upon!” he said intensely. “Spat upon, as if we were nothing more than…fleshy, diaper-wearing worms!” He was actually rocking her back and forth on the seat and she was strongly considering elbowing him in the throat. How the hell would that look if he called the cops? What was she going to say, he tripped into a wall?

“…Well, that’s an interesting mental picture!” Holly blurted out.

“But if you would wear a diaper on-camera during a mailbag – just one- then you’d bring so much attention to our plight!”

“Plight?!” That was a bit much. To say the very least. Nervously she tried to pull her hand out of his grip but he kept begging and pulling and trying to convince her to join him in his great crusade. She stood up and dragged him against her, but before she could kick him someone else spoke up.

“Um…maybe you should leave the lady alone there, buddy. Looks like she doesn’t wanna talk to you right now, okay?”

The passive, chill tone could only belong to one man, and Holly felt her heart leap into her throat with utter confusion. But beside her the man spoke up.

“Danny Sexbang? You’re in the lifestyle, too?”

Holly finally got a good look at Dan, standing there in his baby-blue tee-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. It was even more casual than his usual outfit. The question made him shrug his shoulders, his smile turning charmingly sweet.

Her eyes bugged out at the sight of him, unable to stop or help herself, the wine clogging the back of her throat and making her sputter. Dan reached over and took the cup from her, shooting a mildly disapproving look at the amount of wine she’d chugged down over time. She wasn’t about to be cowed by him now, he wasn’t her daddy when they were in regular clothing outside of actual kink space. 

“I dip my toes in. Y’know me, I never say no to a party.” Then, with some level of tension he added, “now why don’t we take a walk, man? I’ll get you an autograph, we can talk.”

“Do you think you’d be interested in wearing a diaper onstage? Surely there have to be a few adbl fans among NSP’s huge fanbase…”

“Yeah, we’ll….we’ll talk about that…” Dan said, though the panic in his eyes suggested there was big a mere sliver of a snowball’s chance in hell of that ever happening.

As they walked away the knot in her chest slowly untied itself, leaving her almost gasping in gratefulness. _Thank you,_ Holly mouthed, and she saw Dan’s brief nod, his big grin, as he disappeared around the corner. 

 

**** 

 

Ross texted her a minute later with pictures of his bruises and a happy, lazy grin. He said she wouldn’t be the one driving them home tonight, and she felt a wave of gratefulness at the fact that he wasn’t stiff enough to get behind the wheel. He promised to be there in a half hour, and just as she slipped the phone into her pocket Dan rounded the corner into the hallway, with a cup of bright red punch in his hand.

“Hi,” she said.

“Heh.” Dan was blushing, turning as pink as a valentine’s heart. “Hi, Holly.”

“What are you doing here?” she wondered.

He shrugged. “I felt like checking out the local color. Plus…” He shrugged. “I wanted to make sure I’m making you happy. If I’m not doing the whole daddy thing right, then I want to make sure I know how to please you.”

“Dan, you should ask me what I think about it. I’ll tell you if you aren’t making me happy.”

“Oh – is that why you’re here? Because you’re so happy with what I’m doing why’re you trying to meet other people who’re…ohhhh,” the realization struck him.

“Yeah,” she said, “I was looking for someone like me, someone who understand what I’m going through and is good with advice or doesn’t care how inexperienced I am.”

“I get that. Wanting someone who’ll just listen to you.”

She sipped her punch, watched his eyes take her in. She understood, then, that he liked it when she’d listen to him. Which was probably why she was so enthusiastic about him daddying her.

“How would you feel about two people listening to you?”

His eyes brightened slightly. “That’d be fun, but who do you think would be interested in our thing?”

She grinned. “I know a guy,” she said. “A very short Irish guy.”

“Jack?”

“He’s going to be in town for VidCon next week,” she said. “He asked if you’d like to scene with the two of us and I said I’d ask you and well – how do you feel about it?”

He grinned. “Sounds great; we’ll meet at your place?”

She nodded. “I’ll text him tomorrow, he’ll be thrilled.”

“You think I’m that good of a daddy?”

She nodded. “And a person, and a lover,” she said, and she knew that to be true even though they hadn’t been naked in the same room at the same time together. Dan kissed the crown of her head, and at that her phone chirped. She laughed when she noticed who was calling.

“Ross is outside,” she said. “Gotta go. See you sometime soon!”

“See you,” Dan said, and took the remains of her punch. He pecked her lips lightly as she rose to meet him, and let the sweetness between them linger in the air like fancy perfume.

Maybe it would be nice to have others around to understand them, but the understanding that already existed between them was pretty sweet.

 

***

 

“I don’t even know how this works,” Dan said, shoveling chocolate pudding into Jack’s mouth. “I mean, Holly’s poking me in the middle of the back with a Rowlet and she won’t go down for a nap and all you want is chocolate pudding and I’m running out of diapers…” He paused. “Wow. I’m stressing out.”

“That’s why you’re the daddy!” Holly sing-songed, and kicked his side. She had no idea why she felt so bratty – but understood that it was an awful lot of fun to fluster Dan, and flustered he was, kneeling in front of an oversized high chair that Jack had brought her as a sort of hostess gift. 

Dan glared back at her over his shoulder, but she ceased all movement, her eyes going lambent-sweet. “Keep doing that and you’re getting a time out. Jack, you’re having pears after this or I’m never buying pudding again.” Then he sent his free hand under the ruffled cover of her diaper. “Are you still dry?”

Holly yelped at this sudden indignity, but recovered her attitude. “YES!” she said, and this time she kicked harder than she meant to into his soft side, and he whalloped her lightly on the bottom, earning him a laugh – padding helped, when you wanted to play the brat and your dips were thicker than a milkshake.

Jack took the last bit of his pudding, then sighed extravagantly at Dan’s worries – Dan’s practicality had snapped him out of headspace, Holly knew that look in his eye quite well by now, and exactly what it meant. “Relax, you’re doing fine.”

“I’m not a hundred percent sure I am,” Dan said ruefully. 

“Well, Holly’s having fun!”

“YEP!” She said, and tried to squirm Dan’s hand back down her diaper – she wanted him to touch him and didn’t know where the grey fuzzy boundaries of his limits lay.

“… I’m having fun. No one’s safeworded out. So I say you’re doing okay.”

“Huh,” Dan said noncommittally. 

“Uh. Now stop draggin’ me out of headspace, I wanna enjoy this.” 

Dan sighed as Holly headbutted him. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“Abba, I’m itchy!”

“Itchy where?” 

She grabbed his hand and dragged it toward her crotch. “There!”

“Um…I’m not sure you want me to scratch you there right now.” She saw the panic in his face and knew she’s gone too far, but couldn’t help it – the comfortable pink cloud swallowing her mind whole seemed to be ruling the entirety of their interaction. He pulled his hand away and unscrewed the top of the baby food jar, letting the white-gold colored pear mash plop onto the plastic dinosaur plate sitting on Jack’s ridiculously oversized high chair.

“Aww, but I won’t tell, daddy, not at all.”

Dan…cringed a bit, and continued to feed Jack.

She tugged on his pantleg one more time. “Please?” she begged.

His eyes flickered over her body. Whether he was seeing the woman underneath her childish demeanor or the character she was putting on, Holly couldn’t tell.

All she knew was that she was being swept up by two surprisingly strong arms and carried off to the sofa, her legs swinging, giggling merrily as they went.

 

*** 

 

As Dan licked pudding off of Jack’s dick, Holly realized she’d lost control of both the scene and her life. He was rubbing away at her clit and her head was thrown back and she was making actual adult grown-up-woman-in ecstasy sounds. Dan seemed to be almost entirely fine with whatever this mess was, anyway, because Jack was pulling at his hair and tossing his head and kicking the floor hard enough to make her bones rattle even on her high perch upon the couch.

He was calling Dan abba nonstop, which was going to take some getting used to on Holly’s part, but Dan would definitely acclimate. Or his dick would, either-or.

When Holly came it was as if she’d been thrown headfirst into a blinding bright white light. The angels sang – or maybe they screamed, and she twitched and twitched, falling face-first into the Rowlet’s back.

All of a sudden, Dan came up coughing as he licked his ointment-flavored lips. “Gah, Desitin!”

Jack immediately fell out of headspace and cracked up. “You were the one who diapered me! How did you forget it was like that?”

“I was a little distracted,” he said flatly, but Jack just laughed harder. “Dude, if you keep making fun of me I’m going to stop blowing you.”

“Oh fine, roll me over, let me hump the carpet and put me out of my misery!”

Jack’s over the top declaration had Dan roaring, his arms around Jack’s middle, holding him still while he rocked on his feet. “You’re a pain, man.”

“But I’m your pain. Makes it easier, doesn’t it?” He wiggled his ass. “So couldya maybe wipe off my willy and get back to the licking?”

“Gladly,” Dan said, reaching for a wet nap. It didn’t take much more effort to get Jack back in the mood, and soon he was once again bobbing happily on Jack’s cock. And Jack was writhing, moving endlessly, and Holly watched sleepily, half in her very own world and far away from the two of them.

“Oooh, abba, something’s happening, something….” All pretense of character faded out, he flexed his toes and strained for something new, his cock growing hot and hard in Dan’s hand. Which was all the warning he got before Jack let out a moan and started coming. Dan swallowed, deep and true, and his. 

He kept on Jack’s dick for so long that he began to get overtly sensitive, apparently finding it too much to bear. He pulled out of Dan’s mouth and laughed. “For fuck’s sake, man, that’s ticklish!”

“Babies don’t swear,” Dan pointed out. Jack’s jizz must have tasted better than the Desitin, anyway, because he’d managed to swallow.

“Fucking hell, I’m no baby right now! I’m a big blubbering man – who wants to watch Wonder Pets and take a nap.”

“Fine with me,” Dan said, getting up off the floor. “I’ll be back with some dinner for me.” He kissed the top of Jack’s head, then Holly’s. “Be good.”

They shared knowing looks, burst into devilish laughter as they switched on a showing of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Playtime was over, and soon they’d be required to take on the mantle of adulthood once more.

And Holly –tired, satisfied, and smelling like animal crackers – felt as if she’d welcome the change.

****

“So…should we talk about how weird I made everything?”

Dan refused to meet her eyes as he said that, tucked behind the Holly frowned at Dan. They were sitting together in Dan’s car, watching Jack’s plane wing its way back to Europe. “I don’t think you made anything weird, per say,” she said. “I mean, everything you did to us we asked you to do.”

“So I shouldn’t feel like some kind of weird creep?”

“No,” she said flatly. “Do you think I’M some kind of weird creep?”

“NO!” he almost shouted. “I just don’t want to be some weird creepy dude perving up on you without you wanting me to.”

“Well, I’ve confirmed I want all of the you being creepy. So go on and be….you.” 

She trailed off. And, after a long minute, laughter filled the space between them.

“Let’s get you back to Ross,” he said. “I think someone’s going to need to get his bruises iced and I am not gonna be the guy who has to stare at his butt all night.”

Holly grinned as Dan pulled the car out and into the street. At least she was starting to learn all the right tricks and figure out how to comfort him. One small step in the right direction, she reminded herself. Put your dips on one leg at a time.

When she suddenly burst into laughter, Dan glanced at her sideways, as if he was incredibly worried that she was going crazy.

 

****

Two days later, Holly laid with her head on Dan’s knee. It had been an hour or two since he’d turned on the Powerpuff Girls and Dan was fading in and out of sleep as Holly breathed, dozed, sucked on her thumb and let the day pour out of her skin like so much salt and rain. 

She felt comfortable. That was the only way to really describe it. Clean and free. Brand new, as if she were somehow actually cleansed of all of her stress. Which was why she reached out and started poking at Dan’s knee – just to test his limits, to see how high he might jump.

He did nothing, though, which did nothing but _annoy_ her. And so she sought more attention - Holly mumbled about bears and fairies into his shoulder and slapped his dick accidentally with her palm as she climbed deeper into his lap. “Ow,” he grunted, put wrapped his arms around her.

“Abba?” she muttered.

“Mm?”

“Why is Fuzzy Lumpkins so fuzzy?” 

“Dunno,” he said into the couch.

“Cause,” she said, and laughed, a high-pitched cackle that made about as much sense as her answer.

Dan groaned by way of answer, letting his head cant all the way back in total, feigned dismay.

She dug her heel into his side and he grunted, shoving her away and aside. “Why are you being so bad?” he squinted down at her in confusion.

“’Cause,” She said happily. Which meant she wanted a kiss, or a paddling, or to have her dip checked, or to sink her teeth into his shoulder – something, anything, to break up the monotony. 

The key was to push Dan until he wanted to give it to her. 

Great. Her weird diaper thing was starting to turn her into a sadist on top of everything else. 

But there were worse monsters in the world than she; scarier people than a woman who simply wanted a little bit of a spanking in trade for a good time. Holly’s eyes were big and green as she watched Dan consider her with dumbstruck, even romantic love. Her fingers reached up for a piece of his hair and started twirling it with surprising gentleness. 

“Are you gonna kiss me, abba?”

“Why should I? You’ve been a bad girl all day.”

She pouted. “I’ve been sad. I missed you so much while you were gone.” And Dan had been out on tour, had been awfully distant in that time as well.

“That still doesn’t mean you weren’t a bad girl,” he pointed out.

She pouted. “But don’t you love me?” 

He sighed. “You know I love you. I’ll always love you,” he said, and as he realized what he’d confessed he turned beet red. “Uh…Yeah. Want some more juice in that bottle?”

The impact of his words were like a cannonball to her stomach. She adored him – in and out of play. Would she adore him the same way she adored Ross in twenty years? In ten? 

“After,” she said, discarding the pacifier on the floor, and wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her mouth to his.

 

*** 

 

For fifteen minutes –riding him, their mouths glued, her eyes stuck tight and fast and locked with his – she completely forgot that she was Little. Forgot that it was his job to take care of her and lost herself in the heat of the moment, in the salty taste of his mouth and the fear in his eyes.

 

*** 

 

Months passed by. Dan got her a new chewing necklace for the holidays, and she bought him a bright blue apron to ‘assist him in is dadding’ as he sarcastically put it. They Skyped and called and texted and DM’d Jack as often as they could, so he wouldn’t feel left out of the antics. He was too cheery a person to truly be put out by the fact that their kink space was so far away.

“Ask me if I want to cuddle when I fly over there next month!” he said. “I’m a cuddling fool!” He said this while peering at the both of them from beneath a large green bonnet, so it was hard to ascertain his seriousness.

They fucked. Rarely. But it was more like making love than any expression of lust she ever had felt before, and Ross gave them verbal permission to do so with a fond shake of his head (the same week, ironically, that his mistress decided it was time to ‘own his bunghole’ with a strap-on). Time passed on pleasantly, and suddenly it was convention season, and they were picking Jack up at the airport, making out with him in the car, with Dan testing the thickness of his dips and scolding him for not using a better kind.

“It’s friggin’ Amsterdam, man. Feels like everyone’s into every other kink but mine,” he glummed.

Back home they were given large tumblers of juice, which Jack slugged down eagerly. When Dan put Frozen on, Holly found herself hopping in place, waiting with excitement for Anna and Elsa to enter into their showdown. 

Jack was in Dan’s lap – which would have been a hilarious sight to Holly, were she not so totally engrossed in what she was watching – and then, all of a sudden he started squirming. “Let me go, mate, I have to take a piss.”

“Say ‘please’ like a good boy,” Dan said, but he really wasn’t paying much attention to Jack’s desperate movements.

Jack flushed “ _Dan_ ,” he complained.

“And I’m going to keep you here twice as long just for saying ‘piss’. That’s a grown-up word, you shouldn’t say it.”

Holly couldn’t stop herself from being completely fascinated by the scene going on behind her. The harder Jack struggled the harder Dan held on, until…

“Fucking hell, dude.”

The couch was very wet. And so, it seemed, were both Jack and Dan.

It was the smell that snapped Holly out of her daze, and what set her into cleaning mode, the mood broken.

She noticed that Dan was desperately trying to hide his hard-on as he helped Jack mop up, but that would be something fun to poke away at on another day, at a later date.

 

*** 

 

“To be fair,” Dan said, as they drove Jack back to his hotel in nothing but a clean and borrowed pair of Ross’ board shorts, “I thought those things were way thicker than they seem to be.”

“Sure,” Jack said, flat of affectation. Holly winced at his tone but didn’t protest when he pulled away from Dan’s gently grasping hand.

“Dude, you don’t’ think I did it on purpose, do you?” Dan actually sound scandalized, though she did remember that he’d been holding Jack in place for a suspiciously long time.

“You, betray me?” Jack asked, snorting, “Never, never in a million years.”

And there was the return of that streak of terrible guilt, that worry that they were somehow squeezing him out of the picture. 

“It’s not like that,” Dan said. 

“What is it like, then?” Jack asked rhetorically. “The two of you are in love, and I’m just some Betsy Wetsy doll you use to get you jollies off.”

The car went very still at this revelation, and Holly’s heart took a running leap and shattered against her ribcage. “Oh Jack…”

“’Oh Jack?’” He shook his head. “You were in love with me and then you fell for him ‘cause I wasn’t around to give you the old one-two,” he snapped. 

“It’s not like that, man! There’s always going to be room for you here,” Dan insisted.

“Just open up the door and let me out,” Jack demanded. Holly tugged on his wrist and he pulled away, and for a minute or two they watched him stalk away into his motel, firmly ignoring any further looks or entreaties from his lovers.

Holly said nothing as Dan drove aimlessly in the general direction of her home. When he spoke they were a few miles away from the house. “So,” Dan said, “I fucked up. Pretty damn badly. I’m guessing I should’ve asked first before we ended up doing some sorta humiliation play?”

“Yep,” said Holly, staring at the sky.

“But he gave me permission to do whatever he wanted when it comes to the baby thing? Is the baby thing not a humiliation thing?”

“Only sometimes,” Holly said. 

“Explain?” he begged. 

“I’m getting pretty sick of being your adbl whisperer,” she grumped. 

“I’ll make it up to you later,” he begged. “For now, can you please, please please explain to me why he’s mad?”

“Because for Jack little space is a different experience. He wants to be silly and get fed and be cuddled and have people fuss over him. For me, it’s a power thing. When I’m little I can say anything, do anything I want, and nothing bad can or will happen to me. I’m safe because my daddy’s there to look out for me.” 

Dan shook his head. “This just…it wasn’t in the books. Not at all. And I have no idea why I can’t seem to make the right transition from book learning to taking care of you both in the real world.”

“Maybe you need to read fewer books, Dan,” she grumbled. “Maybe all the answers you need should come from the people you care about.” He pulled up to a stop in front of her house and she jumped out, rushing away from confrontation, from the pain in Dan’s eyes and the confusion in her mind.

 

*** 

 

Ross’ advice was simple: Dan was being a dick, it was Dan’s job to apologize and make everything right again. Holly wholeheartedly agreed with that assessment but she wasn’t sure if she shouldn’t be the one applying grease to the squeaky wheel that was their conflict. 

And she had two extra tickets to the Corpse Bride screening at the Hollywood Forever cemetery that she wasn’t about to let go to waste.

“I’m glad you decided to just go without them,” he said, dropping her off in her big black Lydia Deetz style picture hat. “You need to get happy, baby – happy’s what you deserve.”

Holly wondered if that was true – then again, Ross had never steered her wrong. She pecked his cheek and headed into the park with her blanket and picnic basket.

She settled near the front of the screen, gradually allowing herself to slip into the mood. Fifteen minutes into the movie a head of green hair sheepishly crawled up to sit beside her. 

“Hi,”

“Mmm,” Holly replied. She felt too angry to make nice at the moment. He cringed, and that look of sadness in her eyes made her soften. 

“I didn’t mean to make you feel smaller, Jack –well, smaller than you wanted to be. I promise I never stopped loving you.”

“No, I’m sorry, Holly,” he said softly, “for blowing up at you, and for forgetting how much you love me.”

She squeezed his hand and let the movie wash over them again, masking their wounds, masking their hurts. Neither of them noticed Dan until he was almost literally sitting right beside the two of them, and then he was sitting at the edge of the blanket.

During a particularly quiet part of the movie he blurted out, “so, I have a watersports fetish.”

“Thank you, we already knew that,” Holly said. 

“I knew it when you kept talking about peeing on a Vernon,” Jack observed.

“I wasn’t that obvious…”

“…Yeah, you were,” they sang out together.

Dan shook his head. “Okay, I promise not to ever, and I mean ever, do any more humiliation stuff that you don’t enthusiastically agree to. And if I ever step over the daddy line, I want you both to call me on it and I’ll stop right away.”

“Why did you do that?” Holly wondered.

Dan squirmed. “Um…I sort of felt like a pushover. Everything I read told me to be stronger and firmer with both of you. So I tried to be firm without asking first. My fault for failing the consent line.”

“Yep, it’s your fault,” Jack chirped.

“You’re going to take this out on me later, aren’t you?” Dan asked.

“Maybe,” Jack said happily. But then he rested his head against Dan’s shoulder. “But I forgive you, mister forgiveness.”

“Thank you,” Dan deadpanned. “Do you forgive me, little one?”

“I’ll think about it,” Holly said, as she leaned onto his other shoulder. Soon she was nuzzling into the warmth of his side and began to drift away, into happy, peaceful joy.

All around them, families fought, ate and squabbled. They were a family too; a different sort, but one none the less.

And if anyone noticed that Jack was sucking his thumb or that Holly had begun chewing on Dan’s collar, they were wise enough not to mention it. 

Every family had its quirks, after all.


End file.
